The Department of Health has today issued a health warning about the deadly X-F4C-T0R virus which has been confirmed as a severe risk to the population.
The virus, colloquially known as the "X-Factor", has been silently invading the homes of families of Britain for several weeks.
A Government spokesperson stated, "The virus is extremely contagious, and can spread from person to person with remarkable ease. Merely discussing the virus can cause the rapid dissemination thereof.
"The virus is naturally parasitic, and tends to slowly take over the brain. Particularly worrying are its effects. It can have a chronically mind-numbing effect and frequently elicits symptoms of distraction and passivity.
"It can also cause severe irritation to those who do not have the disease but are frequently in the presence of X-F4C-T0R sufferers while the virus is active."
The outbreak has been traced to a arena in London where cult-like experiments in ostentation are staged before an audience weekly.
The event has been observed to induce inordinate catharses of naivety in its participants after their performances and the virus often entangles them irreparably, rendering them insatiably driven to a life of such frivolity and excess.
Unscrupulous corporations have broadcast the abstract pathogen across national television in a bid to afflict as many victims as possible.
The population is being urged to avoid contact with X-F4C-T0R at all costs.
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