Sunday 4 January 2009

This Really is Big Brother

Yes, it's that time of year again. The insidious spectre of Celebrity Big Brother has dawned upon us, and so we duly wheel out a bunch of Z-list, money-hungry wannabes to degrade themselves for their latest publicity fix.

That's right: we'll have to endure another three weeks of press about the pseudo-social-experiment fronted by a selection of inarticulate goons such as the faceless shit-for-brains Davina McCall and numerous other yes-men to present the show's even sicker sister, Big Brother's Big Mouth.

As broadcasting antitheses go, it's one of the most ironic; Channel 4 has yet again proven its ability to go from the sublime to the ridiculous. A mere few days separated the honourable televising of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's Christmas message, which certainly defies the usually indefatigable media bias over Iran, and this worryingly twisted charade, which would probably even manage to depoliticise Chomsky's skull.

The other irony is the show's Orwellian theme. The programme takes the role of a dictatorship, with uniformly-voiced cretins neck deep in mauvais foi as they deliberately recite commands to feign the running of a mini-autocracy.

But they're not just pretending. This show is part of an autocracy, and it's called British society. We're swallowing propaganda every night from 10-11 at a time when we should be paying attention to the real news more than ever, with the economy and two of our overseas wars teetering on the brink (not to mention the rest of the world). The timing couldn't be more convenient - for the government, who've doubtless wined-and-dined a number of C4 leaders to exactly that end (I'm trusting the Private Eye will confirm my suspicions and cover this in eyeTV next issue).

It gets worse. The directors of Big Brother can sport another badge of depravity this series, having roped in the less-than-3-foot-tall actor Verne Troyer, just to add to the freakshow atmosphere. He tries in vain to be seen for what he is - a normal person - whilst the cameras point down at him alone inordinately, as if he's some sort of circus-act.

As for the contestants themselves, including plastic-faced whore Ulrika Jonsson, the fiery Solidarity Party leader Tommy Sheridan - perhaps the show's one facet of political realism - and many other no-hopers, they'd pay to watch the Ricky Gervais' rant on their performance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-LDAjb-ZVs).

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